Addressing Concerns with a Grieving Brother
A 73-year-old sister is exhausted from taking care of her 65-year-old brother, who lost his wife to Covid in 2023. She relocated to care for him, handling all household chores, cooking, and managing his medications.
Her brother has numerous health issues and recently become incontinent, refusing to wear disposable underwear. The sister is tempted to let the bathroom stay filthy due to her exhaustion.
Your brother may still be in the throes of grief over the loss of his wife, and perhaps has diminished capacity.
The sister is advised to have a "state of the household" conversation with her brother to address the issues. It is suggested that his behavior may be a remnant of his relationship with his wife, and that he needs to show up in some way for himself and for his sister.
A possible approach is to explore how much of his current behavior is a result of his past relationship dynamics, and to encourage him to take some responsibility for his own care.
- Have an open conversation about the state of the household
- Explore the brother's past relationship dynamics and how they may be impacting his current behavior
- Encourage the brother to take some responsibility for his own care
Author's summary: Sister seeks advice on addressing brother's behavior without creating tension.